The Race Relations Commissioner has spoken out to try to defuse the Mad Butcher racism row.

Dame Susan Devoy says many of us have said or done things that are hurtful to others without realising what we were saying is offensive.

'But that's not the end of the story. The important thing is being able to recognise when we've offended someone, to work to resolve it with mana and to make sure we never do it again.”

Waiheke local Lara Bridger posted a tearful video on Facebook claiming the Mad Butcher, Sir Peter Leitch, had told her Waiheke Island was 'a white man's island” and she shouldn't be there.

Sir Peter claimed some light hearted banter had been misinterpreted.

Bridger's video was viewed more than 100,000 times before being removed.

Today the Race Relations Commission was full of praise for Lara Bridger saying she was a 'very brave young woman” and that New Zealanders should be grateful to her for speaking up.

'The thing about so-called casual racism is that it doesn't feel very casual if it happens to you or your family, as Lara has shown us.”

'I know Sir Peter and while I believe he's a very good person at heart: that thing he did was offensive to Lara and it needs to be fixed.

'I am confident he will do this and it's great to hear the local iwi are able to help mediate as are our own commission mediators. It is pretty clear he had no idea how offensive his words were but he will definitely know this now.”

The Race Relations office launched an anti-racism campaign called 'That's Us” last year and more than one million New Zealanders have tuned in and listened to the stories of casual – and not so casual - racism from everyday people growing up in New Zealand.

'Shocking, funny and heart wrenching, but all of them very familiar,” says Dame Susan.

'Often the person saying the offensive or racist thing had no idea that what they were saying was racist or incredibly hurtful: and this is where we need to change.”