The scientific world is rocking on its foundations this week following revelations by staff at the CERN nuclear research facility that they have discovered particles that appear to have broken the 'universal speed limit”, the speed of light.

After months of checking and re-checking their calculations, which show an apparently impossible result under the known laws of physics, the scientists have asked for help from around the world, hoping that they have made a mistake.

There has been much celebration from the scientific community at this demonstration of openness, telling the world that they are open to the results showing something new, but encouraging a thorough testing of their methods.

In a counter move, American fundamentalist pastor Newt Reno has declared this discovery as 'evidence of God giving the finger to Einstein” and immediately founded the Church of Jesus Christ and Latter Day Particles.

Television appeals have already raised several million dollars towards a luxurious California retreat for Reno to study the 'mysterious wave-particle duality at the heart of God's message, which will become clearer as I spend time in the spa.”

The individual particles have been elevated to holy status, celebrated with a new hymn 'All Things Light and Neutrino, All Quanta Great and Small.”

The day of discovery of the apparent breaking of the speed of light is to be celebrated annually, with children hanging out sacks in the hope of receiving particles in the shape of computer game consoles, and Quantum Death IV.

Asked for a comment, the Heisenberg Institute was described as being 'Uncertain”. Probably.

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