Miscarriage support group holds high tea

Michelle Topham has turned her miscarriage journey into positive support for fellow mothers that suffer the tragedy. Photo: John Borren.

'We lost on Mother's Day, the week of…I struggle with Mother's Day still.”

Michelle Topham's eyes begin to water as she describes her experience of losing her second child to miscarriage.

After the loss, Michelle was gifted a massage voucher.

'The massage therapist had flowers for me when I arrived, and I felt so special. I thought: ‘I can't be the only one feeling this way after a miscarriage'.”

The Tauranga mother cites this as her 'encouragement” to start Massage after Miscarriage – she knew other mums could feel the same relief she did.

Three years later, the group has supported more than 200 mums.

Michelle and her husband live in Tauranga with daughter Olivia, aged five, and their ‘rainbow boy' John – born healthy after the loss of their second child.

Back in May 2020 Michelle believed she was nine weeks pregnant when she went to a routine scan to find out she had miscarried.

'I'd been spotting for a week before I told my midwife about it. I tried to tell myself it can be normal but I knew inside that it wasn't to be…”

Any gestation

Massage after Miscarriage helps mums at any gestation.

'We send them for massages, facials, nails, hair treatments.”

The emotional wellbeing of these mums is at the forefront of Michelle's mind, and she hopes the pampering will help that.

'We just want to support them through such a rough time.”

Women are referred to Massage after Miscarriage by a midwife after their loss.

For Michelle, who runs the non-profit charity, this opportunity to support mothers through such a tough time is payment enough.

'I get a message of thanks and it just boosts me because I know what we're doing is so important.

"They feel seen, they feel cared for. It's the fact that they don't have to think about it, you just turn up and relax. It's really nice to give back.”

Michelle's impact has grown to reach Hamilton, Queenstown and Auckland's North Shore in three years.

This growth is physically represented by the care packages.

'It's funny, the care packages started off with maybe three small items, now you're getting that much more love in them. It's so cool. These are really heavy and full now.”

A care package

After the massage, mums are sent home with a care package made by Michelle, and flowers donated by local florists Myrrh & Co, Cherrywood Florist and Bethlehem Floral Studio.

'The care packages are filled with products donated by New Zealand businesses such as Mia Belle NZ, Amalie's Room, Koa's candles, Malsea Body Co, Favoured.NZ.”

A community of sorts has been created by Michelle, as Massage after Miscarriage fosters a safe space to discuss these experiences of loss, which she says is so important.

'It just makes me so proud that I've turned something so awful for myself into something beautiful for other people.”

Massage after Miscarriage is holding a high tea fundraiser at Matua Hall at 3pm, Saturday, June 24, to continue supporting mums.

The event is now sold-out. Michelle is grateful to All Occasions Party Hire in Hamilton, which has donated the cups and saucers for the high tea.

Support can be gifted to Massage after Miscarriage at: massageaftermiscarriage.com

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