Now I know there is someone out there, be it Santa, Elvis, or some other higher being sitting on a cloud because my wish has been granted.

Now just to get things straight, I am not re-born, as my attendance at Sunday School is only to clean up at the after-match function.
I have been given some new balls, as it has been explained to me after my cry for help last week, by more new found friends, the good folk at 'Animal Antics”, that tennis balls contain glass shards.
This explains why my incisors are eroding, and why Andre Agassi, scratched his all the time. Not because his balls were too big or his shorts were too small, but his balls were full of glass, now if he was a superb athlete like me, he would have been able to lick his own, but that's another story.
I am just glad that now all my Christmases have come at once, and the team from Animal Antics were so concerned about my well being, they dropped a couple of colourful round things off for Ady and I, they even come with a tosser, (a little like Andre really), and they float in the bath, which is really cool.
I have even received mail from some very concerned mates about the state of my balls, and this one from 'Jafa Land”, (and here was I thinking that the males in Auckland did not have any balls), being my favourite this week. I will publish a few of the others as space permits, so keep sending them in my brothers.
The boss reckons that this week I have been the friskiest he has seen me since the day before I was made into a politician, I say this as most of them have got no balls either, anyway a special thanks to the wonderful folk at Animal Antics, for being so caring, and looking after an old dog.

Dear Diesel,
Hey my fellow four legged mate,
My name is Boss. I am a 2 year old Rottweiler from Auckland. I am replying to your article in the last Weekend Sun.
I can commiserate with the loss of your balls. On the subject of tennis balls, I have enjoyed annihilating many a tennis ball in my time, but unfortunately for me my mum and dad have discovered a practically indestructible ball. This has saved them money, but taken away my satisfaction of bringing out my inner Rottweiler. After all, what is there for a Rottweiler to do in central Auckland.
"Trust me mate, you're dreaming if you think you'll be able to shred one of these balls"...
So next time I'm in the bay, I'm more than happy to meet up and share more doggy tips. Chow for now.

Now onto my favourite part of the week, waxing lyrical, about my mate the Aussie Butcher in Gate Pa. This guy is certainly no eunuch, as he has to have balls to display all that meat in his great shop, so get along and see the man, and get all those meaty supplies in for the barbecue this weekend. Whatever you want, Johnny can accommodate you.

'Italian Chops'

Ingredients
4 lamb shoulder chops
1 clove garlic, minced
¼ cup fresh basil, finely chopped
¼ tsp salt
1/8 tsp pepper
1 Tbsp grated parmesan cheese
1 ½ Tbsp olive oil

Method
Mix all the seasoning ingredients. Place lamb chops in non-metal dish and pour marinade over top. Cover and refrigerate two to 24 hours. Over moderate heat, grill for 5-6 minutes. Turn, brush with marinade and cook another 5-6 minutes.

Well that's all from me for this week my friends, but keep those exploits about you and your balls rolling in.
Take it easy out there.