A man charged with inciting the suicide attempt of his former partner 'repeatedly told her to kill herself to the point she was pushed over the edge and attempted to end her own life”.

That's what Crown prosecutor Alex Maino told the jury of five men and seven women at the start of a trial for Brendan Hawkins, who is facing charges of inciting suicide, blackmail and male assaults female.

Both the charge of inciting suicide and blackmail have a maximum penalty of 14 years' imprisonment, while male assaults female had a maximum penalty of two years' imprisonment.

At Rotorua District Court on Monday, Maino said that the charges stemmed from a 'toxic relationship” between Hawkins and his former partner, who cannot be named for legal reasons.

She said the pair were in an on-off relationship from May 2019 to May 2021, a relationship that continued in secret after Hawkins was convicted of domestic violence against the woman, despite bail conditions they should not see each other.

She said the assault charge stemmed from an incident in a ute when he is alleged to have punched his partner, and the blackmail charges were a result of him demanding money not to reveal their secret ongoing relationship.

Maino said much of the communication between the couple took the form of texts and social media app messages.

'He manipulated and controlled her through these messages,” she said.

'Often telling her to commit suicide, kill herself.”

Maino said one message read: 'Kill yourself, no-one cares about you, no-one likes you. Do it and let me watch”.

Defence lawyer Ngaroma Tahana also said the pair were in a 'toxic relationship”, and that the alleged ute assault 'simply didn't happen”.

'There is no dispute that messages were exchanged between the pair, no dispute Mr Hawkins did tell [partner] to kill herself. The issue you will need to determine is whether when he said those things at the time, what were his intentions?

'The defence position is he never intended to deliberately encourage her to take her own life.”

Tahana also said there was 'no issue money passed from [partner] to Mr Hawkins” but claimed the pair had agreed she would help him financially, and she 'frequently gave him money”.

The complainant was the first witness to give evidence, telling Maino that at first their relationship was good.

'I felt really special, really cared about, really loved,” she said.

By the end of their relationship, it was 'an absolute nightmare”.

She said Hawkins would call her insulting names leaving her feeling 'low, unimportant, pathetic”.

'I would always tell him, can you please not call me those things, it hurts me.”

She also described how she felt on receiving messages like 'kill yourself, I'm over it” and KYS 'which is an abbreviation for kill yourself”.

'Upset, broken. . . ‘cause I'm hearing someone I love tell me to kill myself, and I'm thinking I should. . . because he's telling me to.”

Maino also asked the woman about the time at the end of 2020 when she attempted to take her own life after what she said had been weeks of messages from Hawkins.

'Messaging me over and over, just do it, kill yourself, no-one wants you here. . . that night he had been constantly telling me just end it.”

She said that due to the messages 'it all got to me” on that night.

'The person I loved really didn't want me alive anymore,” she said.

Asked about bank transfers she made to Hawkins, which totalled $500, she said he would say the money was needed for lawyers fees related to his earlier family violence conviction.

He told her 'I was the one who caused him to go to that court,” she said.

The trial is set to continue.

Domestic violence: where to get help

• Women's Refuge 0800 733 843
• Shine Free call 0508 744 633 between 9am and 11pm (for men and women)
• 1737, Need to talk? Free call or text 1737 to talk to a trained counsellor.
• Kidsline 0800 54 37 54 for people up to 18 years old. Open 24/7.
• What's Up 0800 942 8787 (for 5 to 18-year-olds). Phone counselling available Monday-Friday, noon-11pm and weekends, 3pm-11pm. Online chat is available 3pm-10pm daily.
• Youthline 0800 376 633, free text 234, email talk@youthline.co.nz, or find online chat and other support options here.
• If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 111

-Benn Bathgate/Stuff.