Dave’s brother put him in a headlock and pushed him against a wall until his back popped.

After he fell to the ground his brother stomped on him violently and pulled his head backward in an effort to snap his back.

He sustained four fractures. 

If Dave’s ex-wife, who was visiting at the time, had not intervened he is positive he would be in a wheelchair or dead.

She, somehow, distracted his brother, breaking the “black rage” in his eyes. He is now unable to work more than a few days before spending a day in bed to recover. 

This is one of the shocking stories of abuse Pet Refuge has encountered.

Pet Refuge founder Julie Chapman says 96 per cent of people who seek Pet Refuge’s help caring for their pets while they escape family violence are women.

“However, we are often asked ‘what about male victims’ - the answer is, we help people from all walks of life, regardless of background, age, or gender,” she says.

In Dave’s case, violence by a brother who had been aggressive from a young age.

An aggression that exploded when he was introduced to meth. 

“Following the attack, his recovery has been slow,” Chapman says.

“He has faced fatigue, pain, and wore a back brace for three months. It’s been mentally for tough for a man used to being very active and hands on in his business.”

Dave didn’t know Pet Refuge existed at the time of his ordeal, but he wished he had. 

“He had pet peacocks he loved as family. When Dave came home after several days in hospital following the attack, he found his peahen and her four babies dead. Only the peacock remained alive, crying for his family. His brother’s reputation meant friends were too afraid to come to the house to feed them.”

He told us that listening to his peacock Phoenix cry for his family, when he came home from hospital, was what really broke him.

“If I had known about Pet Refuge, I would have contacted you, and they would still be alive,” he says. 

Research suggests one in three New Zealand women have experienced physical or sexual domestic violence in their lifetime.  

When psychological and financial abuse is considered, it increases to one in two.  

One in eight men reported being victims of family violence.  

“Dave is among the many people who have needed a place like Pet Refuge this year,” says Julie.

“Some, more than once. One woman’s beautiful dog and cat are now in our care again after she suffered a second round of threats and abuse while living in social housing.” 

Another was so fearful about what her abuser would do to her dog, she requested he not be walked on the roadside in case he was recognised and tracked down.

Dogs in care enjoy a daily walk, but this young pup will have onsite enrichment to sooth her fears. 

Another little dog has recently gone home to a young woman with complex special needs, and her caregiver.

They were forced to spend a night in a car after family violence. The young woman can’t sleep more than a couple of hours a night without Chester.

Now she is back to a restful full night’s sleep, and the confusion of why she had to be without her support dog is over. 

The 25th of this month is White Ribbon Day: A global day for the elimination of male violence against women.

“We see the sad evidence of this daily, but we also want to acknowledge family violence can, at times, take different forms as Dave's story shows,” says Julie.

“On November 25, a generous supporter will match every dollar raised up to $10,000 so Pet Refuge can continue to support everyone who needs to escape violence.” 

Donate here: https://www.petrefuge.org.nz/donate/