The holiday season can be a particularly challenging time for those who are grieving. As the festivities draw closer, it’s common to feel a rising sense of unease.

“The thought of facing holiday celebrations, gift exchanges, and family gatherings can feel overwhelming when you’re coping with loss,” said Grief Support Services’ general manager Ana Toneato.

However, the Tauranga community organisation she runs suggests that with some preparation and self-compassion, it’s possible to navigate this difficult time.

“One of the most important steps to managing grief during the holidays is to make a plan that works for you. Start by identifying what you can control,” said Toneato.

“For example, if attending holiday parties feels too much to bear, having an exit plan in place can help you manage the situation. It’s also essential to lower expectations and aim for peace of being, rather than striving for the idealised joy that the season often promotes.”

Incorporating rituals to honour your loved one is another helpful way to navigate grief, said Toneato.

“Whether it’s lighting a candle, sharing memories, or doing something that reminds you of them, small acts of remembrance can bring comfort.

“If you feel comfortable, connect with others who are also grieving. Sharing your feelings with someone who understands can offer solace and reduce feelings of isolation.”

Another key piece of advice is to set boundaries during the holiday season.

“Learning to say ‘No’ to events or obligations that don’t feel right can protect your emotional wellbeing,” Toneato.

“It’s also important to ask yourself: Is what I’m doing helping or harming me? Prioritise activities that nurture your spirit and find a space where you can be sad without judgment.

“Spending quiet time with friends or family can offer emotional support, and getting outdoors can provide a much-needed break from the holiday chaos. A walk in nature, even for just a few minutes, can help centre your mind.”

Toneato said volunteering is another way to redirect your energy into something positive, offering a sense of purpose and connection.

“ As you navigate grief during the holidays, remember that it won’t always feel this way. The only constant in life is change, and this difficult season will eventually pass.

“For some, managing grief may be possible without professional support, but for many others, the process can feel overwhelming and uncertain.”

Grief Support Services provides counselling to help children, individuals, and families/whanau navigate their loss.

However, Toneato said with a growing number of people seeking help, combined with funding cuts and rising costs, it is crucial to raise funds to continue their essential work.

To help, they have launched a holiday campaign, giving supporters the opportunity to offer the gift of counselling to those in the Western Bay of Plenty struggling with grief and loss.

 For more information, visit: www.griefsupport.org.nz