Roger Rabbits with Jim Bunny

Why do we worry the small things? Why do we get our voluminous Y-fronts in a such a twist? They can’t be unsnarled. Then we won’t let go; and they continue to chafe our most delicate and sensitive parts. Generally over things that shouldn’t matter a jot.

Like rainbow crossings? Why do we get bent in half over rainbow crossings? “Who in their right mind would bother getting out of bed in the dead of night to paint out a rainbow crossing,” asks Arlo. He’s a smart, talented, funny gay man I’ve known, and loved, since he came out 50 years ago.

His wisdom and gayness have only served to enrich as I meander through my Presbyterian, predictable, straight life. He’s the same gay man, who, when this straight man was going through a break-up suggested I find myself a bloke – “a truck driver and settle down”. I think he was joking. And even though I love Kenworths and owner/operator truck drivers make up to $312,000 per annum, it was never really an option. I am a peculiarly old-fashioned thing who always preferred women.

Beacons 

Anyhow, from Taipei to Albuquerque, from Tel Aviv to Alberta and Sydney, Vienna, and now Tauranga, rainbow crossings have become beacons of queer visibility, beacons of safety and inclusivity, a protest against intolerance.

At the same time they’ve also produced the worst in us – bigotry, vandalism and hate. The crossings are regular targets of homophobic attacks and vandalism. And New Zealand’s not immune.

People have painted out the Gisborne and Karangahape Rd rainbow crossings.

“Urban terrorists!” says Arlo jokingly of the rainbow crossing vandals. His eyes roll, although nothing about gay bashing really surprises or upsets him anymore.

“So, one rainbow crossing in Tauranga. And how many zebra crossings? Why don’t they go play on the zebras if they are philosophically or spiritually opposed to the rainbows?”

So what are we all antsy about? A rainbow pedestrian crossing, a lovely, bright, expressive statement traversing Devonport Rd. All very symbolic – a passage, a safe way across the city’s main street, straight to the front doors of the library – an institution promoting knowledge, personal growth, empowerment and community engagement. What symmetry.

Ten per cent 

So not just a crossing. Much, much more than a crossing. A bold nod to a sizeable but largely invisible demographic in this city, the 16,000 strong LGBTQI+ community which gets on quietly making a positive contribution, since forever. Yes, 16,000 – 10% of the city’s population. Significant.

Another 2781 people objected, signed a petition opposing the crossing, as is their right of course. But don’t jump to conclusions. It wasn’t about undermining the values of diversity and inclusion they said, “more” about money, more about the allocation of council resources. And I would dearly like to be able to accept that explanation. The standard, every day, homegrown, garden variety black and white stripes would have cost $5000. The flossied up rainbow version, another $5000. Art, albeit functional art, working art, always comes at a cost. But it’s important.

“Life is art and art is life,” according to Chinese contemporary artist Ai Weiwei. Whether it’s a crossing, an installation, or painting.

It reflects and reveals a lot about ourselves; it adds meaning and uniqueness to a city. People stop, stare, discuss and remember. And while I appreciate the petitioners having the state of my cheque account front of mind, I really don’t begrudge my 17 cent rates contribution to the crossing.

And I am sure had they thumbed through the council works programme they might have discovered expenditure more deserving of their scrutiny.

What are protesters really frightened of, asks Arlo? “I promise if you walk the rainbow crossing, nothing sinister will happen. You won’t start mincing, you won’t develop alternative sexual proclivities. You will arrive at the other side exactly the same person who stepped off the kerb.”

When we learned about a motorbike protest at the Devonport Rd rainbow crossing I envisaged mean tattooed gang members on the unemployment benefit and meth-financed Hogs burning rubber on a rainbow crossing, doing $30,000 damage.

Rain

Then the, Statistics NZ 2021 Household Economic Survey tells us 4.4% of all New Zealanders adults are gay. Which, when extrapolated, means about 350 of all our patched gang members are LGBTQI+. So they won’t want to damage their/our new rainbow crossing, would they?

Pictures of the CBD protest, a protest of one, shows a small, whirring, hardly menacing, electric bike it seems, leaving a token tyre mark on the crossing. The commentary warns ominously this is what we can come to expect.

And as Dolly Parton famously remarked: “If you want a rainbow then you have to put up with some rain.”