After experiencing baby loss herself, Tauranga resident Belinda Roddick decided to organise a Bubble Walk to Remember to raise awareness and offer support for those who have been through baby loss in Tauranga.

On Saturday, October 19, at War Memorial Park from 10am, those who have experienced or know someone who has been through a miscarriage, stillbirth, neonatal death, infant death, or pregnancy loss at any stage; will gather to spread awareness of the cause.

“Latest figures show around 700 babies are lost during the period between 20 weeks gestation and 28 days post birth,” said Baby Loss NZ coordinator Sarah Numan. “And one in four pregnancies under 20 weeks gestation end in baby loss.”

Belinda Roddick has lost two babies in her life and she has personally experienced the struggle and heartbreak involved with the loss.

“In 2008, we lost our first baby,” she said. The baby was at 14 weeks gestation when we lost it, and we had a 1year old boy at the time.

A few years later, we had 2 young boys and “We were like you can name your brother or sister, a name that would work for both sexes because we didn’t know what it was.

One of them said they wanted to call the baby Star and the other chose Skye. While they have grown up they have asked questions about the baby referring it to Star or Skye.

“Then in 2013, we lost Sarah-Rose and she was just over 20 weeks and so that really hit us hard.”

Memorial for Sarah-Rose. Photo supplied.

She said that when you are over 20 weeks, you have to give birth.

“I ended up taking time off work. I had eight years off for my mental health and to be there for everything for our boys. My husband and i realised how unpredictable your future can be so we wanted to be as involved as we could be for the kids.

I was in the supermarket industry and so every time I saw a customer or staff member that saw me pregnant, it was like oh no, I have to relive it again and try to explain without hurting their feelings.

“We actually started getting international students at that stage because it was instantly another child we could introduce into our home.”

Roddick said they’ve had international students ever since, adding up to 11 years.

“We love it, it’s just adding another whanau member.

She explained that everyone processes their grief differently. Some like to talk about it but others prefer to not to.

Roddick said she prefers to talk about their loss. “I’m quite open and that’s actually helped me heal.”

She said her husband is the opposite. “He doesn’t talk about it a lot.”

“It doesn’t make it right or wrong, that’s what I say to people on these walks. You can share if you want to, but you don’t have to. There’s no pressure.

“It’s about knowing that you’re not alone and to give the message that as much as they say time heals, it’s different for everybody. Some might heal faster than others and some may never heal.

“I’ve always said to people, we grew these babies. We didn’t get to know their personalities, quirks and see their beautiful faces but it’s still a loss. It doesn’t make it any less.”

For Roddick there are still things that trigger her and she is still healing to this day.

When she first reached out for help after losing her first baby, she realised just how common it is that people lose their babies. With the help that she received from BabyLoss NZ she decided she wanted to help.

“I just wanted to reach out to people and raise awareness because I didn’t realise until we lost our first baby that it’s quite common. It affects more people than we know.

“One in four people lose babies,” she said. “But you definitely don’t hear about it that much.

“The one thing that I wanted for my family was to make sure that we don’t forget them.

“We’ve got photos of us being pregnant with the babies that we lost.

“We’re Maori, so you don’t take photos with people who have passed, it’s just tapu.

“We said to our parents, we don’t want to offend anyone, but for us and our healing we feel like we actually want to take photos with our daughter and the boys want a photo with their little sister.

“The kids love looking back and going wow this is my sister.

Since losing two of her babies, Roddick has had a daughter Maia. “She’ll be eight soon and she was like the icing on the cake.”

Maia is the princess of the family; she said the boys dote over her. “They know now that when you’re pregnant you don’t always get to keep the baby and It might not work out so they really cherish her.

“She’s never having a boyfriend or getting married put it that way,” Roddick joked referring to the two very protective older brothers. “She’s very precious.”

Bubble Walk

Baby Loss NZ coordinator Sarah Numan said “Parents who have lost babies through miscarriage, stillbirth, infant death, or other forms of baby loss are at the heart of the event.

“The walk is designed as a way for them to honor their child’s memory in a supportive environment.

“Siblings of the lost baby are invited as the event provides them with a gentle way to process the loss and participate in remembering their brother or sister.

“Extended family like grandparents, aunts, uncles, and other close family members are welcome to show their support and share in the remembrance of the lost baby.

“Close friends who wish to offer support to grieving families are invited to walk alongside them. Their presence can help the bereaved feel less alone in their grief, offering both emotional and physical support during the event.

“Healthcare professionals such as doctors, nurses, midwives, and doulas who work in fields like maternity care, neonatal care, or bereavement. Their presence acknowledges the emotional support they provide to grieving families and shows their continued care for those affected by loss.”

Roddick said anyone can come, it’s for all ages, “It’s just about knowing that you’re not alone.”

“We go from War Memorial Park, right around the whole outside of the park. We generally lose a few at the playground because they’ve got kids and that is totally ok.

“We just go on a friendly walk and blow some bubbles, share some stories and connect with others.

“We welcome people to write messages to their little ones.

“It’s a nice personal thing that you can do for yourself.

Before the walk everyone will have the opportunity to write a personal message on a paper cut out of a tiny foot and then hang it with the others.

“It’s just your own little personal message, and then we’ll take them down and you can take it home. It’s not for the public to come and read.” It’s a way to process grief in a tangible way.

“Hopefully someone will join us that is needing a little bit of support.”

Bubble Walks for baby loss awareness are done around the country during October.

Numan said the bubble walks are hosted as a beautiful and meaningful way for families to honor their precious baby/child’s memory while providing support and connection for grieving families.

“The act of walking together and blowing bubbles during the event is a collective way to honor and remember the babies who were lost.

“Each bubble represents love, memories, and the dreams parents and families had for their children.

“It provides a symbolic way to send messages of love and remembrance into the world.

“Events like our bubble walk help raise awareness about baby loss, which is often a stigmatised or overlooked topic.

“By coming together in a public space, participants can open up conversations about infant loss, miscarriage, stillbirth, and other forms of baby loss, helping to break down the silence and bring awareness to the importance of support and understanding for grieving families.

“As bubbles rise and float away, they can symbolise the release of grief and the hope for healing.

“For many, the act of blowing bubbles can represent sending love, prayers, and hope into the universe.

“It’s a way of expressing that while the babies are no longer physically present, their memory lives on in the hearts of those who loved them.

“The lightness of bubbles also represents the idea that healing, though slow, is possible over time.”

The importance of support

“Support is crucial for people experiencing baby loss due to the profound emotional, psychological, and physical toll it takes,” said Numan.

“Baby loss, whether through miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death, brings intense feelings of grief, sadness, guilt, anger, and confusion.

“Support allows individuals to express these emotions in a safe space, where they feel heard and validated, rather than isolated or misunderstood.”

She said it reassures them that their grief is real and important, which is vital for healing.

Photo / 123rf.

The loss of a baby can evoke a deep, complex grief that may involve mourning not just the child, but also the hopes, dreams, and future plans that come with parenthood.

“Support groups or counseling help individuals navigate these feelings and prevent their grief from being compounded by unresolved emotions.

“Many parents feel isolated after losing a baby, especially if those around them don’t know how to respond or if they haven’t experienced something similar.

“Being part of a community, such as a support group, provides a sense of connection to others who have experienced similar losses, breaking down the sense of loneliness.

“People who go through baby loss are at higher risk for anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder.”

Numan said accessing support can help individuals process their grief in healthy ways and prevent these mental health conditions from worsening.

Counseling can also equip them with coping strategies and professional guidance for emotional well-being.

“The loss affects not just the parents but their partners and families as well.

“Support provides a way for everyone involved to share their experiences and grieve together, reducing misunderstandings or conflicts that might arise due to differences in coping styles.

“Support doesn’t take away the pain, but it helps individuals find ways to live with it and eventually heal.

“It can also offer hope, especially when hearing the stories of others who have survived similar losses and found ways to continue their lives meaningfully.”

She said getting the right support can be life-changing for someone going through baby loss, providing them with the emotional, mental, and social tools to cope, heal, and find a path forward.

Baby Loss charity

“Baby Loss NZ is a charity founded in 2008 and dedicated to providing support, advocacy, education, and resources for families who have experienced the loss of a baby,” said Numan.

Photo: Remember My Baby/Mercury Press.

“This can include miscarriage, stillbirth, neonatal death, infant death, or pregnancy loss at any stage.

“We aim to help grieving families navigate the emotional, psychological, and sometimes physical challenges that accompany such a profound loss.”

Numan said the charity provides information on what to expect emotionally and physically after a loss, how to navigate medical procedures, and what rights and options families have in terms of burial or memorialization.

“Memory boxes that include items such as teddy bears, memory books, candles, hand/footprint kits, necklaces, baby clothes, blankets and other mementos are gifted to families giving parents a way to honor and remember their baby.

“Our Active Parenting service provides grieving parents with opportunities to actively parent their baby in the short time they have together.”

Numan said this service focuses on creating lasting memories that honor the life of the baby, regardless of how brief it may have been.

“The goal is to give parents the chance to engage in meaningful activities that acknowledge their baby as part of their family.”

She said parents are encouraged to dress, bathe, and spend time with their baby in a way that affirms their role as a parent, even in loss.

“Hand and foot castings of the baby’s hands and feet are created, providing a tactile memory that parents can keep forever. And family photos, capturing moments with the baby are taken.”

For more information on Baby Loss New Zealand visit their website at www.babyloss.co.nz or go to their Facebook page at www.facebook.com/babylossnewzealand.

To donate to Baby Loss New Zealand, visit their GiveaLittle page at www.givealittle.co.nz/org/babylossnz